So long, Sogang

Well, I'm done.
In case you haven't heard, my school, SLP (Sogang Language Program) cut my contract a few weeks back. I was supposed to finish my contract in June. Instead, I finished about 4 hours ago. (It's currently Friday, February 26 at 10:21pm Seoul Time)
I'll miss the kids. I'll miss my co-workers and friends at church.
But I have to be honest, I'm not too terribly heartbroken about this. I've had dreams and visions that seem like they may actually get to come to fruition. The day they told me that they cut my contract, an hour and a half or so before they told me, I was standing in the hallway. My kids were getting a drink of water and using the restroom. This pretty intense pulling within my chest (that I've come to know quite well--don't worry, it's not biological, I promise) was pulling pretty hard. I looked at my students. They were cute. But, inside I was praying, "Lord...I need to be doing what I'm meant to be doing....and this isn't it." My Korean co-worker walked past me. I could tell I had a grimace on my face. "Melisa! You look sad!" she said as she passed. I think I just nodded.
An hour and a half later I was told my job would be over a few weeks later.
Needless to say it's been weeks full of praying, searching, talking, and writing, writing, writing. There's really only one place I've ever wanted to be, and that is Finland. I can't explain it. It's ridiculous. A big part of the reason I came to Korea was to get rid of this incesant longing to be there. Instead, it only grew. And suddenly, the idea of being there didn't seem so crazy. I don't know. Maybe it's because everyone here is an expat and therefore the idea of continuing to be an expat somewhere else, the idea of living abroad, isn't absurd. Don't get my wrong. South Dakota will ALWAYS be my home. I miss it. I love it. I feel bad for having a tugging to leave it. I'm SO excited to come home for a visit this summer. I miss my friends. I miss my family. And I've wondered, for a long time, why isn't it enough to be there? What's wrong with me? I worry so much as I leave for this next chapter of my life that my friends and family members back home think I'm not coming back because I don't care. This is not true. Not in the slightest. But this I know...this insane, intense desire to be in Finland has never ceased. I've tried putting it out of my mind. I've tried cleansing myself from it. I've tried surrendering it to God...a lot. I've tried ignoring it. I even tried to replace it by coming to Korea and being able to visit other countries in Asia...hoping one of them would spark in my heart so I would know it's just international traveling I love, rather that something else...something bigger. But none of those have worked. And so it is, I will leave Korea, and after a few days of "buffer time" (for the purposes of debriefing myself from this chaos known as Korea) I will set foot once again in Finland. For how long? Good question. I guess I'm going tentatively to see if this really is the place for me. I'm at a place where I can go and see. And if I didn't at least try, I'd always regret it.
And maybe I'll get there, and I'll realize all this pining has been of my own selfish desire, and I can finally go home. But at least I'll know. I need to know.

So, today was it. No more Korean children. I'll spend the next 5 days packing and more importantly, spending time with the people here who have been such a significant part of my life. They have kept me sane. They have encouraged me. They have laughed with me. They have cried with me. They have prayed with me. They have traveled with me. They have shared thier lives with me and I with them. I am SO SO SO thankful for all of them. I will miss them greatly. But they all know my heart. They are cheering for me, and again I am grateful. No words can express how thankful I am for them, and for all my family and friends back home who love me and encourage me and pray for me and put up with my crazy wanderlust.

Wow...this blog got a little more dramatic that I had anticipated. But there it is. I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time anyway. Thanks for reading. I love you.

Seoul Traffic

You know, when I was getting ready to come to Korea, friends and family were quite worried about the possibility of an attack by North Korea. No one here is worried about that at all. Well, maybe those boys holding guns at the DMZ. Anyway, if I die in South Korea, it will not be because of North Korea, I 100% assure you. If I die in South Korea, it will be because I am either riding in a car, a bus, crossing the street, or walking down the sidewalk. Driving in Seoul=Insanity.

Names

I learned an interesting fact yesterday from my Korean friend Sunny. Korean children are named by thier grandfathers. To name their grandchildren is "their honor." The first child is typically named by the father's father and the second by the mother's father. So...I would have been named.....?

Life As A Waygook--In Hip Hop Media Form

Glossary of Terms:
Waygook=Foriegner
Gamsahamnida=Thank You
Anyonghaseyo=Hello
(Hello and Thank You being pretty much the only words people know upon arrival)
T-Money Card=Scan this to get on buses and subway. Charge with money when empty.
Guemchon=The town these guys live in, in the South somewhere
Yok=Station (though I'm pretty sure he says that)
Cass=Bad Korean Beer
Hite=Bad Korean Beer
(Uh, this would insinuate that there is good Korean beer. There is not.)


They are also wearing large visors at one point in the video. Most Korean women wear these outside in the summers to avoid sun. (Vampires? Maybe.) If they don't wear visors like this, they wear facemasks and generally look like ninjas.

A Taste of Home

I'm kind of failing at this whole "every day blogging" thing.

Anyway, I've been spending Tuesday afternoons at my good friend Kim's house. Drinking coffee and talking about life and God. She's so encouraging and it's really good for me to be there. Well, this week we went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I found these hot dogs and just had to buy them. Check out where they're made!! (Uh, you probably want to over look the close up of the ingredients list)

Happy New Year!

This weekend Seoul was eerily quiet. Shops were closed and streets were empty. It looked like a small town in America on Christmas Day. Everyone was out of town, visiting relatives, celebrating the Lunar New Year (commonly called Chinese New Year). Many Koreans, especially children, dress in hanbok, traditional Korean clothing. The actual holiday was Sunday, though families gathered all weekend. On Friday we celebrated with our preschoolers. Everyone one of them came dressed in Hanbok. It was really pretty to see all the colors and the kids were so proud of thier outfits. Even all of the teachers got to wear hanboks.

On Lunar New Year is is customary for the children to bow to their grandparents. There is a special way for boys to bow and a special way for girls. After bowing, they only rise when their grandparents have spoken for them to do so. Then, the grandparents speak a blessing of luck to the grandchildren and then give them money. Traditional food to be eaten that day is DukGuk (pronouced duckgook) Duk is rice cake. Guk is soup. It's pretty tasty.

I also saw on the news that many people went to the alter that I have a picture of from my DMZ tour. (See DMZ blog for photo) Many went to this alter near the Freedom Bridge to bow to their relatives in North Korea.

Here is the link to the rest of the Lunar New Year photos.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=149388&id=584949759&l=aaf4ba0597

Faces

Sometimes, when I get in the elevator in my building, I make funny faces in the mirror. Then I wonder if I'm being watched.

(To my knowledge, there is no camera in this elevator. To. My. Knowledge.)

Rest for the Weary

Pre-school graduation time is drawing near. On Friday, February 26, all the kids I have been teaching for the last 7+ months will be donning miniature graduation robes and hats (which specific name I can't remember...mortarboard?). They'll march their little selves up, sing a little song, and toss their hats up in the air as a farewell to childhood.
Unlike the West, school in Korea starts in March. So, in just a few short weeks, these kids will begin elementary school. Once elementary school starts, it's over. "It" being childhood. Already as pre-schoolers they go to several other lessons after school. In elementary school, they will go to school, English school, math school, music school, Tae Kwon Do, possibly even Chinese school. Then they have to come home and do homework. I see high school students on the subway at 11pm, still in their school uniforms, because they haven't been home to change.
Now, I've recently just learned that apparently Korean parents are aware that this is a rather stressful schedule. So, in an effort to buffer it (or something) many of my preschool students are taking a week or two off here in the last few weeks of preschool. They get to stay home and you know, be kids. That way, when they're 16 and sleep deprived and on the verge of suicide because they may not get into Harvard (because that's where all my 7 year olds want to go) they're parents can console them, pat thier backs and say, "It's not so bad. Remember, you got to play that one week when you were 7."

Korea Comics

My friend Kim showed me these comics today. They are too good to not put up. They're a lot more funny if you've lived in Korea, but they amply sum up a foriegner's life in Korea. Click on the comic to see a larger version. See more at http://www.roketship.com/

DMZ-Finale

We left the Thrid Tunnel and headed for the observation tower. This is as close to the DMZ you can get withour being on a specialized tour. You have to stand behind a yellow line to take photos. They don't allow visitors to go to the edge of the observatory to take pictures. I'm not sure why that is. I'm wondering if it's so NK can't see SK visitors taking photos. However, you can walk up to the edge of the observatory and look through binoculars. On clear day, from the observatory, one can see the North Korean tower, with their flag waving. This tower was built higher than the South Korean tower, to prove they are higher and mightier. Also, one can see the Propoganda Village, which is just across the border. The Propoganda Village has up to date buildings to make it appear that everything there is normal and that people live well there. There are actually a few people who are allowed to live in this Propoganda Village, and they are the family members of NK soldiers. Also, on a clear day, one can see the treeline end. South Korea is densely forested, and North Korea should be the same. However, it's pretty much sapped all its natural resources, including its lumber. The treeline just stops on the other side of the DMZ. Only devestated forest remains. Sadly, it was way to foggy to see any of this on the day we were there. I was able to see the NK observation tower through the binoculars however.
From the observation tower, we went to our last stop, whcih was the train station at Dorasan. This is the train station that travelers between the countries will use once the border is opened. It's quiet and vacant, with only a few commuters going from there to another town in South Korea. There is one train a day that leaves from Dorasan that goes into North Korea, and one train that arrives. There are no passengers on either trains, just goods. Near the Propoganda Village there is a factory that is owned by South Koreans and several thousand North Koreans work there. Two main exports from this factory are jeans and fabric softener. We were able to buy a ticket to get on the train platform. This train station is 63 miles from Pyonggang.
There was so much devestation on this tour. However, there was a lot of hope, too. Koreans are eager and hopeful for the reunification of their country. The train station at Dorasan seemed to make that evident. Though it sits nearly totally empty, it waits expectantly for the day when it will be full of travelers going freely from one end of the peninsula to the other, without fear of death, nor forever seperated from loved ones.

DMZ

Ok, so I know this was meant to be up 2 days ago, but it wasn't. Apologies.
On Sunday, January 31, 2010, some co-workers and I joined a tour group headed to the DMZ. Again, DMZ stands for De-militarized Zone. It is the 4 kilometers that seperates North and South Korea. Following the Korean War, the Soviet Union was in control of the North and the United States was in control of the South. As no re-unification took place, it was decided the countries should officially be split along the 38th parallel. Thus, the official de-markation line runs along this geographical marker. The DMZ is the 2km on either side of the de-markation line. Stretching from the West coast to the East coast of the peninsula, it is the most heavily guarded and militarized border in the world. Sounds like a good place to go poke around, huh? Well, we did anyway. Now, just to put everyone's mind at ease, this wasn't something we just randomly decided to do. Nor did we attempt it on our own. We were a part of a guided tour, and hundreds of visitors visit this border everyday, despited it being heavily armed. I never felt threatened or afraid, only saddened by what I saw.
I'm basically going to go through my photos and use them to narrate. We got on the tour bus at 9:00am in Seoul, stopped at a large university at 9:30 to pick up some more passengers, and by 10:40 we had arrived at our first stop: The Freedom Bridge.
When we got off the bus, directly in front of us was a large stone alter.
This is for South Koreans who have family in North Korea currently or who had ancestors who did not make it out. It is very important in Korean culture to honor one's ancestors, and since those in SK cannot access NK,
coming to this alter near the border is really significant.

After walking past the alter, we came to the Freedom Bridge. This bridge was built for some 12,000+ prisoners who were released from the North after the war. There was a wall at the end of the bridge, and on the wall was hung hundreds of cloths and ribbons bearing blessings and prayers from South Koreans for their North Korean family members and friends.

There was a fence from East to West spanning from either end of the Freedom Bridge with barbed wire as you can see. There were also military posts every few hundred yards, with South Korean soldiers tucked into their parkas. It was cold and blustery that day. Wind whipped snow in our faces. I was thankful we could soon return to the warmth of the tour bus. These soldiers however, stayed put hour after hour, day after day, watching over the area. The Korean visitors waved and smiled to the soldiers, who stood in their stoic manner, not returning the sentiments, not out of rudeness, but out of duty. I wondered if they got tired of being a tourist attraction. Then I thought about American citizens waving to our own soldiers, who also cannot return the gesture out of duty. I imagined the Koreans as Americans, waving and shouting, “Way to go boys! We’re proud of you! Thank you for your service!”
Snow and wind continued and a heavy fog blanketed the area. My attention turned from the soldiers to those less than 5 miles to the North without heat and likely without food. The blustery weather seemed only fitting for a visit to a place where families and friends are separated 2.5 miles of no man’s land, barbed wire, and machine guns.
While we were out exploring the area around the bridge, our tour guide was busy processing our information. After leaving the Freedom Bridge, we would be entering the civilian guarded zone. It is the last bit of land before the militarized zone. We had to obtain permission to enter this place. We surrendered our passports or alien cards for approval. A few minutes after leaving the parking lot for the bridge, we stopped at a check point at the entry to the civilian guarded area. A South Korean soldier came aboard the bus and checked our IDs (which had been given back when we got back on the bus at the Bridge.) Everyone passed inspection (I wondered what happened if one didn’t) and our tour bus was on its way to the second destination. (There were 5 all together)
As we drove, we went through Unification Village. This is the last town before reaching the North Korean border. Inhabitants of this village are given many benefits from the South Korean government because, as our tour guide said, their lives are like “Army lives.” Because they live so near the border, they are like civilian soldiers, keeping watch for any misconduct from North Korean military. Benefits from the government include no taxation and no obligatory military service. In Korea, all young men are required to enlist in the military for just over 2 years. However, because the people who live in the village are considered citizen soldiers, they are not required to join.
We stopped for lunch just outside of this town. It was a lunch of kimchi ,(of course) porridge, (which I thought seemed quite like cream of wheat) miso soup, (soup with tofu and cabbage) and some other random side dishes. We each had a shot of soju, Korean rice liquor, similar to vodka.
After lunch, we went to the little shop for some souvenirs, including some goods from North Korea. After that, we were on our way to stop number three: The Third Tunnel.
After the implementation of the DMZ, no one in the world was (or is) allowed in that 2.5 mile span. Any invasion from either side would have to occur either by land or underground. Since 1953, 4 tunnels have been discovered going underneath the DMZ. Our tour got to go in the third tunnel, which was discovered in 1994 by flood waters gushing through it. Cameras weren’t allowed inside the tunnel, but I’ve put up a picture I found on the internet which looks pretty much the same as any picture I would have been able to take. The tunnel was quite low. I had to walk with my head cocked to one side most of the time. I felt really sorry for my 6’3” co-worker. We all had to wear hardhats, and I’m happy they made us do that, as I hit my head more than once. We walked for about 10-15 minutes until we came to a stopping point that was guarded with barbed wire (as pretty much everything there is.) At the stopping point there was a wall with a window looking into the other side of the tunnel, with a small hole through which one could shoot any on-coming enemies. At this stopping point, we were 73km under ground (.45 mile) and roughly 557 feet from the de-markation line. I was hoping the day we chose to go on the tour would not be the day that NK decided to attack via tunnel. Fortunately, it was not. :)

Ok, more to come tomorrow...ideally.

DMZ Preview

Yesterday, I stared across at the most gaurded border in the entire world. I stared out at a country where things like food and heat are nearly non-existant. Then I came home, sat on my comfortable warm bed and watched The Simpsons until I fell asleep. Remind me to count my blessings. Twice.
Yesterday, I went to the DMZ. I will blog more about this tomorrow, because I want to give it adequate representation. However, here is a snippet. DMZ stands for De-militarized Zone. It is the 4km span between North and South Korea where no one in the world is allowed. The actual De-markation point, which follows the 38th parrallel is in the center, with the North controling the northern 2km and the South controlling the Southern 2km. There is an outpost directly on either end of this zone, with heavily armed soldiers gaurding it 24/7. It was a terribly bleak place, and yet there is so much hope amongst Koreans for the re-unification of their nation. I ate lunch in re-unification village, crossed re-unification bridge and walked on the bridge of freedom. Here is a link to my photos of the day on facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=145836&id=584949759&l=a9772e2faf